Questions for long distance relationships

I was in a long distance relationship, so I know the pitfalls it brings. When things were going well it was because we communicated and raised doubts and questions. When it was not going well it was because we were talking about things that did not really matter. If we had these questions for long distance relationships, it would have been a smoother ride.

in this article you have fifty five questions for long distance relationships, how to make the most out of them and why you need them.

Whether you have a long distance boyfriend or girlfriend this article is for you.

Why You Need to Ask Each Other These Questions For Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are challenging, but they are not impossible as some might believe. When both people have the right intentions they will approach it in the right way.

Honest communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationships. This is why asking questions is valuable. Not only will you find if you are in line with each others values, you also create a stronger bond.

Inevitably in a long distance relationship you will have doubts This is normal. We have ups and down in our moods and feelings about everything. Don’t let the doubts define your relationship.

When you have not been in the same place for a while, you will question things that you normally wouldn’t. These doubts would not enter your mind if you lived together.

Keep in mind, if someone is not a trustworthy person. then these questions won’t help. Some people will give you answers they know you want to hear. However, if your being honest with each other, then they will help you tremendously.

Get into a Relationship for the Right Reasons….

Many people enter relationships without much thought. They get into them for shallow reasons or because they have intense feelings. This might be OK for short term relationships but is not good for long term ones. Definitely not the way to go for a long distance relationship.

I know some couples who remotely play video games as a way to bond. However, they often play to avoid having a conversation about problems they are having. Don’t do this, in the long term it will cause you more pain.

How To Use These Questions for Long Distance Relationships

You can follow the questions as I have written them or pick the sections that matter to you most.

As you go through the questions, you will come up with your own based of the answers.

This is not an exam, so see these questions as a way to dig deeper. One question might lead to a long discussion, in which you find out more about each than you would if you rushed through each question.

Stay light hearted but honest. Remember these questions are about getting to know each other and to avoid confusion, hearth ache and resentment. Not mention wasted time. So if you get an answer that you are disappointed in, don’t turn it into an argument. The person is being honest with you, respect that.

When do you ask? I suggest it is better to go through these questions when you are in the same place and not far away. If you have never met in real life, then these questions will be nothing more than entertainment. I have written these for people who try to meet up as much as possible, not for online relationships.

However, it is Ok to go through these questions if you are not the same vicinity, as it can help keep the conversation flowing and deal with doubts that you might have.

Also, if you have started your relationship long distance with intention of meeting, then it’s Ok to ask these questions.

Set your intentions before you go through the questions. Say something like “We want this relationship to work and make our lives better than if we were apart.”

Long Distance Relationship Questions to Ask.

Long Distance Relationship Questions

Here are the questions to ask your long distance partner They are divided into sections so you can choose the area that is most important to you.

It’s ok to visit the same question more than once.

I have not included questions about a physical feature like “What is your best physical feature?” because that type of question seems more appropriate if you have not met.

Remember, it’s fine if you want to add your own questions or modify these.

Have fun!

1. Personal Compatibility:

  1. What are your long-term life goals?

  2. What do you value most in a relationship?

  3. How do you handle stress or difficult situations?

  4. What are your boundaries?

  5. How would you describe your communication style?

2. Relationship History & Expectations:

  1. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship before?

  2. What did you learn from your past relationships?

  3. What are your deal breakers in a relationship?

  4. How do you envision a successful long distance relationship?

  5. What are your expectations for the frequency of communication?

3. Trust and Jealousy:

  1. How do you handle jealousy?

  2. How do you build trust in a relationship?

  3. What actions or situations would break your trust?

  4. How would you handle any insecurities that arise?

  5. How do you feel about your partner spending time with friends of the opposite gender?

4. Future Plans and Commitments:

  1. Do you have an end-goal for this relationship?

  2. Are you planning on relocating in the future?

  3. How long are you willing to commit to a long distance relationship before living in the same location?

  4. What are your thoughts on marriage or long-term commitment?

  5. How do you envision our life together in 5 years?

5. Communication:

  1. How often would you like to communicate (daily, weekly)?

  2. Are you comfortable with video calls?

  3. What’s the best way to resolve conflicts for you?

  4. What do you need in terms of emotional support?

  5. How do you feel about expressing your emotions openly?

6. Visits and Travel:

  1. How often do you think we should visit each other?

  2. Are you comfortable with the financial aspect of frequent visits?

  3. What are your thoughts on alternating who visits whom?

  4. What are the most feasible means of transportation for visits?

  5. How do you feel about spontaneous visits?

7. Hobbies and Personal Time:

  1. How do you like to spend your free time?

  2. What hobbies would you like to share with me?

  3. Are you okay with us having separate hobbies and interests?

  4. How important is personal time to you?

  5. How can we find ways to bond over long distances with shared activities?

8. Intimacy and Affection:

  1. How do you feel about sharing intimacy in a long distance relationship?

  2. What are your thoughts on sexting or phone intimacy?

  3. How can we keep the spark alive during the times we’re apart?

  4. Are you comfortable discussing your needs in terms of intimacy?

  5. How do you show affection?

9. Social Life and Friends:

  1. How do you feel about sharing details of our social lives?

  2. What role do your friends play in your life?

  3. How do you feel about introducing each other to our friends, even if it’s virtually?

  4. Do you anticipate our friends supporting our long distance relationship?

  5. How important is it for you to maintain a separate social life?

10. Financial Considerations:

  1. How do you feel about sharing financial burdens, like travel costs?

  2. What are your financial goals for the future?

  3. Are there any financial challenges we should be aware of now?

  4. How do you feel about discussing money matters openly?

  5. In terms of gifts, celebrations, and shared experiences, what are your expectations?

11. General Questions

  1. Who do you admire most in general or in your personal life?

  2. Would you want to raise children the way your parents raised you?

  3. Which country’s culture fascinates you the most?

  4. Would you like to start your own business?

  5. Do you have a large extended family?


A Long distance relationship holds it’s own unique challenges. These questions will help you avoid many of the pitfalls people get into.

The reasons long distance relationship fail or are stressful is often down to honest communication and trust. When you do not have these two things there is not much hope.

These questions for long distance relationships will help with both. Saving you time, heartache and stress. You can use these if you have a long distance girlfriend or boyfriend,

They will also help you strengthen your bond, get to know each other deeply and build a life together.

You might also like: Attachment Style Quiz and 7 Love Languages and Emotional Intelligence in Relationships